0.0 The List

Many of us question what we look for in a potential partner. Most of us will produce a list of characteristics, some lists longer than others. Many of us will say "oh but this is flexible" , "these change over time".

But what happens when we look deeper into this ?

What if it is not about what is actually on the list, but more what we do with it?

I have come to the realisation that I  am not looking for someone that perfectly fills my list, nor someone that just induces strong feelings- but an intricate and rare balance of both.

When we meet, we should both have a list, but as we get to know each other that list slowly gets forgotten about until it is dropped all together.

But we will pick up our partners list and look at the qualities they intially were looking for in us. Some we will already have and some we do not.

All the ones we cannot tick off just yet, is what we aspire to , what we work towards together, to be better people. Because in essence that list is just a list of characteristics that are important to our partner.

The most healthy form of love makes us into better, stronger, happier versions of ourselves.

That is what I am on the quest for.

5.1 The Hurt Card.

This is an effective tool in order for you to highlight how the other persons has taken as action to wrong you.

Intention – becomes very difficult when there are disagreements, because can you really blame someone when the outcome was not what they intended?

The answer is yes.

How many times have you heard the following lines?

“I did not mean to”

“I did not think you would react like this”

“That’s not what I meant”

“I wasn't thinking about that”

These lines allow them to brush off the fault without having them admit that they have done a wrong doing towards you.

This is when you pull out the Hurt Card, and it goes like this…

“Regardless if you had the intention to hurt or not, the bottom line is that you have hurt me and hurt my feelings. Since I have someone you really care about I really hope that you understand that even if you did not mean to you hurt me and let me down. I am trying to be rational and work a solution around this but I want you to know how it made me fell.”

So honestly what can anyone say to that? Nothing really.

Other than sorry, unless you don’t mind sounding like the biggest douche bag.

Whenever you feel like the arguments/ discussion is going off centre remember to always pull it back to you and your hurt feelings and when you are thinking of a solution they will have your feelings at the forefront of their mindset. 

In the end if you are someone they care about - they will not want to see you hurt or upset, and should do everything in their ability to make it up to you and alleviate the pain. 

The Prequel.

Throughout the Blog you will see we develop new terms and explain concepts. These can apply to many social situations between both Ladies and Gents, including

• Relationships 
• Hook ups /flings
• FWB
• Friendship 
• Acquaintances

 As well as many more. As a result I will create a collective word for all the above groups, as a"Connection".

The Compulsory Overview.

This blog does not teach you to be a bitch as such , but more my personal theories and techniques in reading/ understanding and influencing individuals . This is not a full proof method, but simply highlights key elements in social behaviors and how they can be worked to your advantage.

This Blog will be separated by various streams/chapters that will be released simultaneously in no particular order.

Element 1. Attraction.
This has a focus on personal representation , what you are required to do in order to 'attract'.

Element 2. Investigation. 
What is required to extract key secrets and understand personality traits of others.

Element 3. Testing Stage. 
Where you devise a series of tests, and see how your subject reacts, giving a clear indicaion of commitment and temperament.

Element 4. Extraction.
Simply - Getting what you want.

Element 5. Maintenance 
How to continue the same cycle of understanding and behavior.

While these are heavily used in relationship scenarios the skills discussed can be used in various social settings.

This blog aims to give you an analytic insight into humanistic social behaviors , and personal ramifications.